That Extra Gland

You know you have it when you cannot say no to the downtrodden, forlorn and, above all, master manipulators of those of us born with a sympathy gland. To be fair, I should include all those who have acquired a similar phantom gland through guilt.

It’s not the same absolute sincerity and foolishness, but it will allow for the same complications and lead to the same enormous amounts of time given over to those who would enslave the energy of others for their own benefit regardless of the detriment to others.

Please understand, I do not include the genuinely troubled who are always open, appreciative and who enthusiastically participate in their own recovery whether it be from emotional or physical complications.

They are, without exception, a joy to work with and allow for a true exchange of human thought and feeling to occur for a successful and satisfying healing. I wish to narrow the scope down to the sympathy-seeking, ever-thoughtless professional energy-stealers.

At this point, you’re probably wondering why the tirade about the behavior of people who should appear to be obvious and therefor easily avoided under all circumstances, extra gland or not. Ah, this is the worst part of glandular excess.

The personal satisfaction, the personal identification of this healer-counselor is in helping others. This sounds reasonable, even logical unless this also includes the need to be needed as the means to self-worth which includes the need for approval from others. “you helped me” becomes the siren song.

“You didn’t help me” becomes the manipulator’s refrain. That extra gland puffs up with equal parts determination and misplaced responsibility to heal that which cannot be healed like the all-consuming need to have someone’s devoted sympathetic attention on every sad, bad emotional change the manipulator experiences.

The intention is never healing or even self-improvement. After months and sometimes years of diligent attention, the manipulator still feels wounded and still insists on transferring emotional burdens onto the very person trying to foolishly help. There is no help for the professional victim.

So, dear reader, I cannot remove this extra sympathy, but I will respectfully apply its amazing capacity to those truly seeking counseling and healing. Those who are inclined to use and abuse other people’s time and energy are invited to go elsewhere to satisfy their endless need for attention.