Grace Elizabeth Hathaway

On the morning of May 29th, Grace Hathaway left the premises that some call the earth plane, or as she would say, “I’m out of here!”

Now, there are many stories for each person who leaves this earth, but none had as many as Grace, each story left with the appropriate child, relative or friend.  She had four children, many relatives and numerous friends.

So, exactly who was this woman who had four children and four husbands? She made no demands on life and was happy to receive whatever or whomever came into her life, and that’s how her adventures began. What came about was accepted and dealt with.  As she said, “You have to improvise all the time in this life.”

She left at 93 years of age, some say 95.  Her birth certificate was altered to fit the woman and the times. She always stayed current with the decades, never appeared dated, never seemed to age until six consecutive strokes changed her life and those close to her forever.

This woman was the best friend you called at 2 a.m. when your boyfriend left. Her advice was, “Save that piece of toilet paper next time you go to the bathroom and when you get sentimental, take a whiff!”

And when you were trying to find yourself, which she thought was hysterical, she’d say, “you are exactly where you need to be.  Appreciate what is in front of you.  What the hell, you’re alive!”  She also believed in facing one’s worst fears with a plan of action.

She took care of two young teenage girls who were pregnant in a flat in San Francisco where a cockatiel ate scrambled eggs, bird seed was fed to the mice and her cabbie husband at the time brought her “gifts” left in the back seat of his cab. She made a living by making “break-away” costumes for exotic dancers.  This was only one of many adventures in her life.

She believed anything could be overcome.  She did not do this for herself.  She got chased and caught by four husbands.  There was the straight man in burlesque who stayed home and washed diapers while she went on club dates in Hawaii. Before that was the man who loved alcohol more than the 16-year-old Gracie.

Then there was the cab driver who gambled, and finally the man who wore a hat like Frank Sinatra and took her to Italian restaurants.  She was grateful for his attention, so she married him.  No one understood why.

She had this odd brilliance that she focused on others without awareness of it’s origin.  She said, “you know, ideas float in space.  Decide what you need, hold it in your mind like a magnet and what you need will come to you.” She would also say, “when someone says you can’t do something, smile and know there is always a way to achieve what you want.”

And what did she achieve?  She could read Latin as if she were a Roman.  With that base she could read French cookbooks and the Paris edition of Vogue.  She began each meal with a skillet and a pound of butter, unsalted, of course!  She made the best bread in the world.  She could weave a rug of her own design and make her own dress patterns.

She was also a Master Gardner, taking courses in horticulture and specializing in plants from Australia and New Zealand.  She could look at any art object and figure out how it was made.  Once she had the knowledge, her interest went elsewhere. She loved reading mystery stories.  Her favorite fictional character was Hercule Poirot.

Gracie herself was the greatest mystery in her children’s lives.  Not one of them knows her real story because she was many women, a different one for each phase of a life lived like a gypsy passing through on a wild adventure that only she understood.

She created happiness for others.  That was her true magic.  She helped create an escape plan from pain for everyone, except herself, until now.  For 13 years she remained in a body that could not eat, speak or walk.  She is now walking about albeit in different gardens and doing what she liked best–being free to do as she pleased!

Many knew Gracie.  How many knew both her brilliance and  her kindness? How many recognized how complex she was as a person?  What a beautiful and strange puzzle she presented, this woman with four children.  All that is known is a carpet of vermillion (red being too pedestrian for Gracie) was rolled out Saturday morning for a woman who helped more people than anyone can imagine.

And all who knew her can only say, “Gracie, may you find your way out of this world and into one that fulfills your greatest desires and dreams.  And, by the way, in case you didn’t know this, you are loved beyond measure!”

Signed:  Tom Miller, Joe Miller, Betty Malicoat, Rori Roberts and all family members and friends who knew Gracie Hathaway in this life.